The night before is always rough for me. The past summer I have had difficulty sleeping, and so getting back on schedule is tougher than usual. This year, as I reflected upon what I designated as fear, I received a chill down my spine. To think of all the older kids, and what Ive been told has happened in the past. I have been told to apply a colored tape on my ID which we must wear around my neck on a plastic, snap-tight, necklace like loop.
Every generation of students at Alton High must wear an ID around their neck which states your name and so on. As well as a very horrible picture, mine is horrible (yet it remains to be the best picture Ive taken in some time now) that has a square of color cropped around the horrid image. This color is given to a specific generation and is not changed for the remainder of their high school career. In order to avoid receiving the wrong end of the New Meat stick. A few people have suggested adding a colored piece of material that impersonates that of a higher grade level. I however, had decided against this when I received my ID, and told that adding these articles to the ID is against school policy and can screw up a large number processes creating confusion and ultimately landing the rule breaker a hefty punishment.
I have once, nearly been Canned By a couple of the Freshman, of course that were a bit larger than me. I do not intend to go through this, or be pushed further in the process of being Canned again. Therefore I have developed a strategy for avoiding such catastrophes ever again, which consists largely of not developing several of the following defections. 1. A very large zit. 2. Queer breath. 3. A posse of teens that enjoy stamps, drama, zit popping, and dominatrix. I feel that this is a very good policy seeing as how most of these activities can be potentially damaging to the human mind.
Starting a higher level of education I began to worry about collage and Scholarships, along with, which field would benefit myself the most And which fields I would like to be proud to have on my resume. I have had several close encounters with opportunities of scholarships. The first was a large sum of money awarded for an education at an Illinois university through a musical program called The Alton Youth Symphony Orchestra. Basically, I spent a great deal of time and effort in working towards a better handle on the violin. When I discovered that there was a shot in the dark I was discouraged, but not put off. I tried a little more, earning multiple free lessons with a private instructor which I adore dearly, strictly because of her ability in musicianship and her general positive attitude, which made me feel more at ease during that half hour fast paced learning and rehearsal. A period of time after that I learned that the lead chair in the Youth Symphony had progressed magnificently while I still remained a generally good violinist. I was then put off and decided in my heart that the violin was not the source of scholarship that I needed and started to pursue other opportunities,
At the beginning of summer break 2002 I received a letter that simply stated that I had been nominated by a teacher of my eighth grade year, that was a particularly strict and caring, for an award called The Do The Right Thing Award presented by the Madison County Urban League. I had never been involved with this organization, but I was informed that a majority of people effected by this organization was African Americans. Later, right before school started, I received a letter that stated that I had won this award. Among some of the benefits that could possibly benefit a student involved, I eyeballed for an unusually long amount of time while reading the document, was a scholarship of $10,000. I am, as the document further read, to R.S.V.P. for the awards assembly. The results of which are still pending, for at this moment in time, as I am typing, I have not been R.S.V.P.d.
Although the thought of not having a collage education still looms as one of my designated fears, I have a long 4 years ahead of me to snag one of these opportunities. Also the thought of not meeting a young lady that may be considered future engagements had passed through my jumbled thought process. It also sent a chill up my spine, but I later thought that maybe, this future may depend on whether I acquire a nice occupation, which may or, unlikely, may not depend on my collage education. So I decided to concentrate on the furthering of my search for a collage education, with the direction of my admittedly obsessive mother. Frankly, she cares. which makes her a good mom in any aspect and in my mind.
I suppose another of my fears should be sleep. It is currently not, which may be the reason why I am not sleeping well. I have no idea why I cant find the time to